I’m sure you’ve heard the caveat: “I’ve never seen an epitaph that reads, “I wish I had spent more time at the office”. Sad to say, there is another version of that which goes… “I wish I had spent more time with my preschool children” which is all too often heard from parents who wake up to the fact that the short period of time before 1st grade contains some of the most eventful and endearing milestones of their children’s lives. If they have been too busy with their own work world, they have given up witnessing a myriad of moments that they will never have the opportunity to experience again. Humans are only one year old once, three years old once, and four years old ONCE. No other span in a child’s life holds so much wonder and joy and fantastic change. It is a shame that so many are missing this by living in fast-forward mode. You should be proud of yourselves for stepping out of the fast lane long enough to enjoy this very special time, AND enrolling in a co-op school as a fine preschool experience to enrich those wonder years.
But wait a minute - it dawns on you, “I need to spend time in the classroom every month - what was I thinking? Will I know what to do? Isn’t it going to cut into the free time I was planning on using for myself? Why didn’t I pick a program where I could just drop off and pick up, and maybe attend a program or two?”
Take heart - you are not only giving your child a wonderful start but the side benefits for yourself are definitely worth the effort.
What is unique about this style of classroom is that you are part of the action, not just a spectator. Granted, the first time you help, your child will be very aware of your presence, perhaps hanging on your leg and being a total ninny. But later you will appreciate having the chance to observe her participation because the children soon become accustomed to parent helpers and start to take them for granted. Have you ever said you would like to be a little mouse to see what goes on? This is as close as you will ever get. Also, it is a great way for your child to learn to share you with others.
The teacher will train you in your responsibilities and will be there to support you. In turn, you will learn an unbelievable amount from their modeling of how to interact with children. You will become comfortable in helping children with art or science exploration, game rules or turn taking, conversing or sharing books - all of which will be helpful to you when your child has others over for play dates or you become the scout leader or room parent.
When you have witnessed a daily routine and shared the experience with your child you have an inside track on many of the adventures that are part of his school life. Dinner conversation will have more content when you have some clues to trigger a response. You will have an idea of what choices are available to him; how he responds to the activities and to the other children, and how the other children react to him. When he talks about Johnny or Alice you will know something of that child’s personality and have a better picture of what happened. You can help him understand and develop empathy by sharing the climate of the classroom.
I heard a child being interviewed on television say, “We are running out of people we can trust.” By becoming a significant addition to the classroom, you will be giving all the children the experience of interacting with someone other than their own family. The other parents are doing the same for your child. This is probably one of the most important volunteer jobs you will undertake to benefit your child’s school career. It seems insignificant, but can mean so much in the future for the child to be able to get the most from the many adults who will be his teachers in all aspects of his learning years.
As you help other children, you will become aware of different learning styles, and in so doing, know your own child better. You will see that not all children of any given age approach new material in the same way and you can make allowances and adjustments to give your child room to learn in her own way. This will make you a better advocate for your child as you confer with her teachers. Knowing how to become a partner with educators instead of an adversary may be the best gift a parent can give a child.
By joining this group of parents helping in the classroom, you have created an adult/child ratio that is very significant in the area of social development for your own child and all the others. By “keeping the plates spinning” you allow the teachers the time to guide the children through learning to share, to delay gratification, and to begin to handle conflict resolution. Caring adults can provide a safe place to confront frustration or anger and to practice compassion for others who are having similar problems. All these issues get brushed aside with adult-imposed rules using a one-size-fits-all mentality in a classroom with too few adults; "Let's get the problem over with so we can get on with it." This just puts off problems until they create crises at the grade levels. We want children to learn how to learn in a group of children without coming apart at the seams. This takes experience - it can’t be learned from a book, a lecture, or a computer screen.
Being in the classroom gives you a chance to know the other children and their parents and to nurture relationships you think would be enjoyable. It is getting harder and harder for children to make connections with their peers; even if there are others on your cul-de-sac, they may be whisked off to day-care and glued to the T.V. or computer in the evenings. , Co-op school provides a golden opportunity for you and your child to cultivate a variety of friendships beyond relatives and neighbors. Working with others in the classroom or on committees can be a welcome alternative to an isolated existence.
How do I know all this? I have just enjoyed Cedar Hills Cooperative School’s 50th anniversary as a former parent in the 50’s and as the kindergarten teacher in the 70’s and 80’s. So many parents expressed their appreciation of the experience for themselves as well as for their children that it proved what I have come to believe over all these years - Parents belong in the classroom - how could we do it without you?
That's why you're here.
Why a Co-op preschool? Adapted from Preschool Times (author unknown)
Parents often choose cooperative preschools for their children because co-ops are parent-run, low-cost and family-centered. The co-op actively involves parents in its daily programs, and allows them to participate in their children’s first educational experiences away from home.
There are co-op preschools throughout the country, though the West Coast from British Columbia through California seems to have the highest density. Some also offer play groups for two-year-olds or kindergartens, but most are organized around the developmental needs and interests of three and four-year-olds.
Some co-ops are just getting started; many are well-established with 10-20 years experience; others have been in operation since the late 1940’s and early 50’s when parent-run schools were a new and daring experiment.
The typical co-op preschool offers two-and-a-half hour classes twice a week for three-year-olds and three days a week for four-year-olds—time enough away from home to make a friend, paint a picture, feed the rabbit, enjoy a story, take a walk and eat a snack. But not too much time away, because three and four-year-olds are happiest when their independent adventures don’t take them too far or too long from mom or dad.
The school’s curriculum is planned by a teacher trained in child development and early childhood education, and hired by the parent board of directors. Class time is usually organized around a daily routine which includes time for free play, group or circle time with sharing and discussion of ideas and events, activity time for a craft project, outdoor playtime, snack time, story time and clean-up. Arts and crafts, dramatic play, music, field trips and community visitors are all part of the schedule.
When a parent first contacts a co-op, the membership chairperson explains the school’s philosophy and the requirements for joining. Most co-op preschools are developmental rather than academic in orientation. They stress the importance of free play, individual readiness and social maturation and do not rush children into rote learning and premature pre-reading exercises.
Parents who are anxious for their three and four-year-olds to memorize the alphabet, recognize printed words, and add and subtract are usually urged to enroll them at another kind of school.
Co-ops require parents to help the teacher in the classroom, and supply juice and/or a snack for the class once or twice a month. They are also expected to attend periodic business meetings, serve on school committees, and participate in fund-raising activities. Fathers are eagerly invited to parent-help, observe in class, and take part in school projects.
Co-op membership demands a commitment of energy and time. It is often difficult unto impossible for the parents in two-income families where both work 8 to 5 to make the necessary commitment, although in some cases at some schools, mutual accommodations have been arranged. But many two-income families in which at least one parent has a flexible schedule, do choose a co-op.
Like all do-it-yourself projects, the cash-out-of-pocket expense for sending children to a co-op is less than it is for enrolling them in a commercially-run preschool. But the time and emotional investment is much higher, as is the return for the entire family.
How do parents benefit from co-op membership?
- Co-ops give parents a chance to participate fully in their children’s early education, and at the same time, prepare them to take an active interest in their public school experiences.
- The co-op lets parents see their children with and in relation to other children of the same age. This gives parents a better understanding of their child’s individual development, personality style, needs and talents, and helps them form reasonable expectations for their child’s behavior and growth.
- Co-op parents improve their parenting skills by watching other parents and the teacher, attending meetings with expert guest speakers, taking part in discussion groups-or simply by kibitzing and trading anecdotes outside the classroom.
- The preschool gives the children and parents both a little time off from each other, a brief breather from their demanding and intense personal relationship, a couple of hours apart to enjoy unique experiences as separate identities.
- Working on the board of directors of a non-profit or other leadership role in the school is great for one’s resume and the development of new skills. It’s easier to push yourself when you’re among friends.
- Co-op parents know their child is in a safe, secure and friendly environment.
Most important, children and parents get a shared sense of belonging to a warm and supportive sort of extended family. The friendships formed by both kids and adults continue beyond preschool, survive school transfers, divorces and moves. Some may last a lifetime.
Occupying and entertaining active and enthusiastic preschoolers 10 hours a day every day “till kindergarten do you part” can be exhausting and isolating for stay-at-home parents. Going to preschool gives both moms and kids an exciting reason to get dressed in the morning.
Lois Todd has been deeply involved in co-operative preschools for over 50 years as a parent to her three children at Cedar Hills Co-op School in the 50's and 60s; as the teacher of the kindergarten at Cedar Hills in the 70's and 80's; and as a board member of Parent Child Preschools of Oregon and Parent Cooperative Preschools International, advocating for children and their parents and teachers in the 90's and 2000's. Lois has written columns for Parent Child Preschools of Oregon, Parent Cooperative Preschools International Small Friends Preschool, the Family and Home Network, and other publications. She lives with her husband, Ted, in Portland, Oregon.