Being
Present with Children: Allowing for Potential
by Suzy Miller
What does it mean to be present with a child or with anyone for that matter?
On one level it starts with the ability to give our focus to who we are listening
to. It is the ability to pay close attention to what is happening right in front
of us. Listening, focus and attention are all key words when discussing being
fully present, but there is something beyond those words. Beyond the surface
of listening or giving our attention to someone, is the ability to have a level
of awareness that only comes when the mind is not engaged in other thoughts.
To be fully present, means that we are conscious of what is unfolding in the
moment. This conscious awareness is not known in the mind, but is known as an
experience, a feeling sensation, a space that can only be identified
cognitively in retrospect.
When we become aware of what is occurring, we have moved “out of our
minds”. We have moved beyond our concepts of right and wrong, beyond a
reference to a past or upcoming event and beyond a preconceived idea of what
will happen in that moment.
From this brief description, we can see that to be fully present with a child
is a rare gift both to the child and the perceiver. It is rare because to be
fully present allows for potential versus a preconceived idea of what is possible.
Frequently when a child is speaking to us, especially in an educational setting,
we are placing their words in a category, planning our next statement or moving
the conversation in one way or another to meet a certain objective. We may be
remembering something from our past or projecting our awareness into a future
event. We are hearing the words but the chatter in our own minds is limiting
a deeper connection.
Being fully present is about connection, because connection really only occurs
when we move beyond our own limited thoughts into potential.
This is why educational labeling either through diagnostic testing or through
personal opinion can have such a detrimental effect on children. Labels set
up an expectation. They come with all kinds of preconceived beliefs that will
be different for each person using them. Which have a tendency to automatically
take us out of the present? Labels can stick for a moment, an hour, or a life
time, but they all have a tendency to freeze the child’s potential based
on perception. When we identify a child as this or that, we box them into responding
a certain way. Because we expect this response over time, it is the response
we are given…. We can’t see it any other way.
How can we get to the place of being fully present with the children in our
lives? First realize that we are not going to be fully present all the time.
There is no need to blame either ourselves or the child for our current perceptions
and preconceived ideas. Understand that these ideas are more about us than they
are about the child. We can only see what we see with. When we see with the
eyes of potential, we see potential and when we see with the eyes of limitation
we see limitation. Know that to be fully present is a skill that is not achieved
through the mind and can not be known by the mind. It is a space of allowing.
Begin initially by changing your preconceived ideas or at least questioning
them. Set the intention that the child’s gifts and talents be reveled
to you, so that this becomes your experience. Understand that the more you mind
is telling you what is, the less potential is available. Allow for potential.
The beautiful thing about this process is that children are so good at reading
subtle changes, that they frequently provide an immediate mirror for our change
in beliefs, preconceived ideas and internal shifts. When we make an internal
shift, the children in our lives will show that to us by revealing something
that we had not seen up to that point. They will beautifully reflect where we
are in the process of releasing the mind from limitation. As we see them and
the world through the eyes of potential…. That will be our experience.
We are not limited in any way, except by our own minds. As we release our own
limitations, we have the potential to release others from theirs. What greater
gift could we give our children?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Suzy
Miller gifts
as a visionary and healer were unveiled in 1999 through an amazing encounter
with a young child diagnosed with autism. She is able to see various issues,
conditions and situations with great clarity from a multidimensional perspective
Susan’s own journey has given her many opportunities to see the interconnectedness
of all things as well as how these various dimensional frequencies play into
the unique dance of Oneness. She enjoys pushing the limits of what she has
believed to be possible and challenging others to do the same.
In addition to working
with individuals and groups, Susan has utilized her skills to bring awareness
to the brilliant gifts inherent in various “handicapping conditions”.
She also advocates for the advancement of children’s consciousness by
bringing clarity to their unseen energetic gifts. Suzy is tremendously grateful
for these gifts and enjoys sharing them across the United States, through
private sessions, group healings, workshops and consultations. Past workshop
titles include, The Energy of Autism, Advanced Energy Awareness, High Vibration
Children/Parenting Workshop, Power of Positive Communication/Educator’s
Workshop, and The Blessing of the Outer Landscape. Suzy also conducts group
healings for organizations. For further information, contact Suzy on 480-329-2706
or at Bluestarsuzy@aol.com. Please
also visit her website at www.bluestarbrilliance.com
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