The CosmiKids'
Connection™
May
2009
The
Yellow Sweater Tale
I'D
BEEN DOING MY BEST TO stay in the moment and embrace the
now. Things were certainly changing at a wild and furious rate and I was doing
my darndest to lean into the oncoming traffic of everyday experience, which
I perceived to be everything from good to bad to the seemingly downright “ugly”.
I say seemingly because everything is really just built upon my perceptions;
what things seem to be. And then it hit me... I am waking up to the fact and
remembering that what “it” seems to be is whatever I make of it
through my own personal lens of reality at any given moment. And what if this
personal lens was purely built on my past, my habits and society-at-large’s
random impulses?
As my business partner, Sandie,
says, “After all, it’s just a thought. Who would you be without
that thought, Judy?” Sandie regularly drops these pearls of wisdom before
me with that sure smile of hers, as she peers over her glasses from behind
her computer, that’s perched atop her desk, piled high with galleys
and deadlines and notes, oh my!
One minute I was okay with
the fast and uncertain nature of change about me and the next minute anxiety
seemed to creep in through the cracks and crevices of my developing psyche.
Okay, I said to myself yesterday as I took a deep, cleansing breathe. For
now, in this moment, I have everything I need, my health, my loved ones, my
beautiful home, my mind and my adventuresome life. (I really wished for a
moment or two that my life was a little bit less adventuresome and a little
more secure.)
The CosmiKids business model
was in a state of flux and I was at odds with its shift in focus and the resulting
effect on my state of inner harmony, not to mention our dwindling corporate
bank account. It seemed like just yesterday that the intentions I’d
set in motion years ago were coming to fruition and everything was on course.
Then one day – wham! - the brakes screeched to a halt and everything
seemed to stop. Another business partner and best friend Jennifer said it
was like the proverbial cosmic brake pedal had been pressed to the floor and
everything in its wake needed some time to right itself because of the dramatic
change in direction. Upon reflection, I wondered whether that seeming sudden
turn of events might have been brought on by any number of things, one of
which could have been as a result of my higher-self or over-soul wanting to
experience something else, something richer and more meaningful.
“Okay,” I sighed,
“If it’s not meant to look like what I believe it to be then show
me, spirit, what you want me to do now!” I waited in silence. It was
days and then weeks of searching my inner and outer landscape and praying
for some sign, some possible direction, a hint of peace, perhaps. Nothing.
Oh sure, opportunities presented themselves, cloaked in requests for meetings
and possible collaborations, but nothing really came together in any meaningful
way.
Then my ego decided to do
what it does best by reverting to resignation. “I’ve really had
it with all this, Sandie!” I sighed exasperatedly. She looked over at
me during the TMZ commercial break, turned the volume control down and said,
“I know what you mean, Judy. It’s not always an easy task.”
I stared teary-eyed out the window. “I’ve given it my best shot,
my full focus and every resource within my domain. I can do no more,”
I said.
My next statement surprised even me as it popped out of my mouth: “If
this is what it’s all about, I’m really fed up and about done
with this life on planet Earth.” Sandie smiled warmly. Few knew better
than she how deeply frustrated I was that things were not working out as I
had expected them to with regards to my life and our work with CosmiKids.
After a period of quiet reflection,
she said: “Judy, I had an epiphany the other day. What if everything
we’ve both been through, all the years, the money, the constant focus,
our commitment and our incredible body of work, all of it, has been expended
and manifested simply to offer us growth as souls and to give us meaningful
experiences? That’s it!” She glanced my way to gauge my receptivity
level as she continued, “Look at all we’ve learned, how we’ve
grown as souls, the massive amounts of fun we’ve had and the joys we’ve
shared. Not to mention the positive impact that we’ve had on thousands
of children and parents.” After a shared moment of fond recall, she
added, “Don’t you think it was all worth it? Wasn’t it rich?”
My answers were yes and yes
and for that moment my whole perspective shifted. My personal lens of reality
turned dramatically. Wow, I thought, I’ve always heard it’s about
the journey, not the destination, and Sandie’s epiphany brought it into
focus with much more meaning for me.
When I am able to live from
that larger, more expansive perspective, it is about who I am, what I feel
and how I honor my true self going through any experience, as opposed to the
result, the success or the trophy. Suddenly the future didn’t seem as
important as the now. I wanted to congratulate Sandie and me for the rich,
full life we have chosen to lead thus far.
I let that profound knowing
continue to settle into my being the next day as I got in my car to head to
an appointment. I was en route to the Lexus dealership to have my 10,000 mile
check-up.
Upon arrival, the service
technician greeted me with a smile and as I left his office after filing out
the necessary forms, I decided to pay a visit to the friendly agent who had
leased me the car many months before. I always enjoyed his company and that
day he happened to be in and available for a visit.
After exchanging pleasantries,
he invited me to a seat at his desk where we talked briefly about the economy,
his clients and that day’s choice of neck tie. Then, quite unexpectedly,
the general nature of our conversation made a dramatic change in direction.
It’s as if he had turned
into my business partner, restating Sandie’s comments from the day before.
He went on to wax poetically about the meaning of life, personal triumph and
spiritual matters. As I continued to listen to the car salesman-turned-mystic’s
views on the larger realities of existence, I started to feel so warm, I had
to take my yellow cardigan off.
As he continued to express
his views on each new topic, my outlook seemed magically to lighten and brighten
and become more hopeful. He’s really singing my song, I thought to myself.
What a curious and surprising way to receive the answers to my prayer for
some peace. I felt calmer and certainly blessed.
Just as he was finishing
expressing his thoughts about unnecessary worry, the service department announced
over the loud speaker that my car was finished and ready for pick up. I stood
up and put my yellow sweater on, not realizing that it was inside out.
As I turned to leave, the
sage for that day shook my hand and with a twinkle in his eye remarked, “You
know, my wise old grandmother used to say that anyone who unknowingly wears
an inside-out sweater is destined to have a lucky day.”
I gave him a hug and turned
to leave, knowing that my luck had surely returned and the moment was rich
with promise.
© Judy Julin, 2009
Image ©
Zigf | Dreamstime.com
Child-enrichment specialist, Judy Julin, who is the Founder
and Creator of CosmiKids has drawn together a variety of remarkably creative
minds including enlightened educators, child psychiatrists, pediatricians,
authors and children to develop these inventive learning tools based upon
principles of empowerment. Ninety minutes in this thrilling environment is
designed to promote character development, expand awareness, and access untapped
resources of power, wisdom and imagination. The unique program, which incorporates
multicultural fabrics, playful décor, extraordinary lighting and healing sound,
integrates intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical development. CosmiKids
is likely to leave parents asking, “Where was this when I was growing up?
